Twisting Fate
by Ranguvar27
Summary: Alannah is in the kitchen at Marmoreal when a strange creature drops in-literally. Can she help it meet it's inevitable Fate? Sue-Death.  Inspired by Niphuria's tale 'I Can Top That.'  Enjoy!


Twisting Fate

Alannah sighed, and focused on mixing the ingredients for her newest potion. "Let's see…rose hips, thyme, gryphon tears, what else…?"

She was bought out of her reverie by the oddest sight she had ever seen. A swirling pink portal was opening on the ceiling above her. It shimmered and sparkled with glitter, and as Alannah gaped at it, a shape suddenly came plummeting out of the portal to land with a light thud onto the kitchen floor.

The shape stood up, revealing itself to be a young woman of about seventeen with perfect blond hair that flowed down to her perfectly shaped and sculpted butt, long, shapely legs, perfect breasts, and deep emerald forest spring green eyes that reflected the infinite sadness and wisdom found deep within her misunderstood and unloved soul.

She was wearing a short shirt which showed off her breasts and revealed her bare stomach, and a pair of short trousers that ended just below her waist.

Alannah found herself very glad that her husband wasn't around-she didn't fancy treating him for a laughing fit. Stayne had told her of the insidious creatures called 'Mary Sues' once, and she had thanked her stars when he admitted he was immune to them. But poor Tarrant did not quite have that luxury, and would fall under the spells of the Sue quite frequently, only to succumb to true Madness by the end of the tale.

Alice would know whenever one of those stories had been written, because Tarrant would have terrible nightmares after, clinging to Alice as if to reassure himself that this life was real.

The girl blinked perfectly, and then spoke in a voice that sounded like the tinkling of bells. "Where am I?"

Alannah sighed. 'Another one', she thought. She plastered a calm look on her face. "In the kitchen at Marmoreal. Who are you?"

The girl smiled. "My name is Aziza Elizabeth Emerald Sapphire Truelove, and I am here to see my one and only true love, Tarrant Hightopp! Could you tell me where I might find him?"

Alannah laughed. "Look-Aziz…Eli…look honey, Tarrant already has a true love. Alice. In fact, he's married to her. So I think you might be backing the wrong horse here."

Aziza Emerald sniffed dramatically. "But how could this be? I was told in a dream that I would find my Fate in the land underneath! I am a tragic and lonely misunderstood girl in the Above World! My parents were cruel and vicious to me, and all of the people that say they are my friends are really jealous of me because I know everything in the entire world! I only have to look at something once and I become the best at it! In fact, I could probably make potions better and faster than you could!"

Alannah bit her lip to keep from laughing at the clichéd tale of woe she had just heard. "Really? Leaving that for now, what makes you think Tarrant will give up Alice and his children for a pathetic slip of a girl like you?"

Aziza wrung her hands. "Because we are destined to be together! I must make a magic potion that when I drink it will cause Tarrant to instantly fall in love with me!"

Alannah frowned, and then grinned wickedly, her eyes sparking bright red with malicious glee. Any smart person would have recognized the danger signs and run as far away as possible, but nobody ever said Sues were smart. "I think that is a wonderful idea."

Aziza, who had been crying prettily into a spotless white handkerchief, looked up, hope shimmering in her wide eyes. "Really?"

Alannah nodded the Cheshire grin still on her face. "Really, and to show my support in your endeavor to win the everlasting love of the Hatter, I'll even tell you the exact ingredients you need to mix. That is, if you're willing to listen to one that is not as skilled at potions making as you."

Aziza nodded eagerly. "I will listen! Tell me what I must do to make the gorgeous Hatter mine for all Eternity!"

'Be Alice', thought Alannah. "First, you'll need a large vial. Second shelf."

Aziza got down the vial, and then waited eagerly. Alannah grinned.

"Well done. Now, in this order, mix three spoonfuls of logic, one table spoon of character, three petals from the rambling rose-it's that large purple flower in front of you-six drops of black writing ink, and a cup full of sparkling water."

Aziza did as obeyed, and gazed in joy at the potion. "Is it ready? Can I drink it yet?"

"Not yet. You have to put the stopper on and give it a good shake so everything gets blended together. That way the potion is at its most potent."

Aziza shook the potion with a will, and it turned a pale blue. She uncorked the vial, taking a sniff of the contents. "It smells funny."

"All potions do. Go ahead and drink it down, and you will get what is coming to you."

Aziza beamed in joy. At last she was going to live the life she had always dreamed of! She was going to be with her one true love, Tarrant Hightopp, and they would make romantic love under the stars while he waxed poetic about her perfect beauty! Then she would bear him many beautiful and perfect children, and they would live happily ever after! Alice would disappear, as she had no important role to play anymore, and Aziza would become the close friend of the White Queen and possibly even her Trusted Advisor, second to her in power. With those lovely thoughts running through what passed for her mind, Aziza gulped down the potion-then screamed in agony.

Alannah watched in pretend astonishment as Aziza doubled over in agony, clutching her stomach and shouting in horrible pain. She fell to her knees, then on her side, convulsing, and looked up at Alannah, tears of betrayal in her emerald eyes. "What did you do to me?"

Alannah laughed evilly and knelt in front of her. "Exactly what you deserve. You see, I know what you are, Mary Sue, and I figured it would be a good idea to have a way of defeating you. That potion I tricked you into making is an age old recipe for getting rid of Sues. The ingredients contain everything a Sue does not-logic, character, brevity-do you really need two paragraphs to explain how you look-as well as good writing. That's what the ink was for."

Aziza shuddered, coughing up pink sparkly blood. "But…Tarrant…"

"Does not love you, will never love you, and will probably Futterwacken with joy when I tell him what I've done."

Aziza looked at her, eyes slowly fading. "You…" she gave a final gurgle and collapsed, pink blood oozing from the corner of her mouth. Alannah sighed in relief, and then quickly jumped out of range as Aziza Elizabeth Emerald Sapphire Truelove exploded into a million pink sparkly bits. A sickly sweet smell hung in the air for a bit, then dissipated. The shimmery portal in the ceiling vanished, leaving a tiny trail of glitter in its wake.

Alannah grinned in relief, and then went to find her husband and Tarrant at the Wool and Water Pub.

Stayne looked up from his ale, grinning at his wife. He and Tarrant had been swapping tales of Sues, and were almost drunk, but not quite. "Hey love. Pull up a chair and have a pint with us!"

Alannah sat next to him, waving to the bartender to bring her a pint. "I'd be glad to. You wouldn't believe what I've just had to deal with."

Tarrant looked over at her, grinning. "So tell us about it."

Alannah took a gulp of her ale, and then pointed the mug at Tarrant. "Fine, but remember this, Hightopp-you owe me one."

Finis.


End file.
